October 28, 2021

Andrew Cuomo Is Each Attractive Male ‘Mentor’ and Creepy Workplace ‘Dad’

5 min read

This week, the New York legal professional common launched an enormous report on Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s long record of sexual harassment. Investigators discovered compelling proof that Cuomo had harassed 11 female state employees. As well as, he created a hostile work surroundings, showered younger feminine staffers with undesirable sexual consideration, and violated state and federal legislation.

All this made him look fairly dangerous. However Cuomo launched a response to the report that by some means made him look even worse.

I’m certain no matter comms individuals helped craft the Place Assertion of Governor Cuomo thought that that they had put out a slam dunk. The assertion incorporates a logical clarification—or feasible-sounding excuse—for each one of many encounters detailed in Lawyer Basic Letitia James’ report. Gov. Cuomo is not a grimy outdated man beneath a pound of TV make-up extra taken with enjoying an efficient politician on TV than being one in actual life; Andrew Cuomo is a father determine to all people who has ever labored for him, and people who have been made uncomfortable by his conduct merely don’t know the right way to have dads. His accusers are power-hungry, loopy, unstable liars, and all this makes Andrew Cuomo, who once more was simply attempting to be a dad, very unhappy. Simply to drive this level house, the governor’s assertion includes several pages of .jpegs of him hugging people.

However beneath the lightest of scrutiny, Cuomo’s response is a grasp class in gaslighting and DARVO (Deny, Assault, and Reverse Sufferer and Offender), a standard tactic of abusers that anyone who has gone to remedy or hung out on psychological well being TikTok can spot from a mile away.

In his assertion, the governor implies that former staffer Lindsey Boylan only accused him of harassment to get consideration for herself and a lift for her nascent political profession. He alludes to figuring out deeply private tales about two different accusers, each of whom confided in him, in a means that nearly reads as threatening; good little secrets and techniques you bought there. It’d be a disgrace if any person instructed a newspaper about them. He implied that one accuser couldn’t presumably have been harassed as a result of on the identical day she was allegedly harassed, she despatched a textual content about having fun with cheese (all people is aware of that on days that girls are harassed, we’re too distraught even to think about cheese).

Cuomo desires us to consider that 11 ladies, for completely disparate causes, conspired by some means to smear him, somewhat than the easier clarification, which is that his conduct was unacceptable at greatest and unlawful at worst.

He additionally tries to get away with shitty conduct by giving it a cutesy rebrand. In Cuomo’s assertion, sexually inappropriate questions are actually “banter.” Wildly inappropriate feedback are “jokes” that contribute to workplace camaraderie.

Cuomo factors out that he employs numerous ladies at high-level positions, which I suppose is meant to be proof that he couldn’t presumably be a serial sexual harasser. But when there are actually that many ladies in Cuomo’s interior circle and they’re all of the girlbosses he claims they’re, it’s puzzling {that a} assertion this tone-deaf ever noticed the sunshine of day. Perhaps he believes that palling round with the lawyer from Time’s Up inoculates him from the implications of his actions. I’m undecided that something would save his fame at this level, however the smallest quantity of contrition couldn’t have harm.

Cuomo didn’t invent pretending he’s too paternal to be dangerous when known as on his bullshit. He’s a sort. As I used to be mucking my means by means of James’ report, I noticed a personality I assumed seemed acquainted. However as soon as I’d made my means by means of Cuomo’s self-pitying denial of the accusations, I knew precisely who we have been coping with. It’s an archetype I think many ladies acknowledge, that some males most likely acknowledge, in the event that they’ve been the unlucky recipient of undesirable consideration from this specific pressure of intercourse pest: The Attractive Mentor.

Attractive Mentors conceal behind false paternalism and mentorship that remodel into rage when his goal isn’t grateful sufficient to fuck him in alternate for particular consideration from the sexually inappropriate workplace dad she didn’t ask for.

The Attractive Mentor is intently associated to the reviled Good Man, besides older, extra highly effective, and with a better credit score restrict. Each gaslight the engaging ladies (and, much less generally, males) they aim by claiming that they’re solely attempting so as to add worth to their lives when in reality they’re in it for the intercourse. Good Guys conceal their sexual motives behind false platonic friendship that transforms into rage when the lady he’s spent all this time being associates with gained’t reward his kindness with a blow job naked minimal; Attractive Mentors conceal behind false paternalism and mentorship that remodel into rage when his goal isn’t grateful sufficient to fuck him—or at the least indulge him—in alternate for particular consideration from the sexually inappropriate workplace dad she didn’t ask for.

The accusations leveled in opposition to Cuomo, and his denial and deflection-riddled response to them, learn like Attractive Mentor Mad Libs. Change a number of particulars and it may have taken place nearly wherever, from Albany to Spokane, and nearly any time—final 12 months or 40 years in the past. Change a number of particulars and many ladies would possibly acknowledge themselves within the story: younger, susceptible, comparatively disempowered. They might bear in mind how they felt when an important man within the governor’s mansion, the top of the advert gross sales division, or the supervisor on the native Chilli’s took an uncomfortably shut curiosity in them, the sensation of attempting to carry him off with out hurting his emotions or making him mad, the disgrace of telling him no.

A Attractive Mentor will dangle his energy earlier than his goal in an try and impress her, after which, when the goal just isn’t keen to behave in the way in which he desires her to behave in alternate for entry, he’ll accuse her of utilizing him. It’s just a little like a person who makes use of flashy shows of fabric wealth to draw ladies complaining about ladies being taken with his materials wealth.

The Attractive Mentor’s energy—like the facility of different abusers—hinges on the idea that his stature will shield him from scrutiny. Anyone who speaks out in opposition to him gained’t be believed as a result of they don’t matter. Maybe that’s the place Cuomo discovered the audacity to launch a press release blaming and attacking his alleged victims. He’s so dedicated to the idea system that enabled him for years that, regardless of all of the proof in opposition to him, regardless of all of the requires his resignation, he nonetheless thinks he’ll get away with it if he holds on for lengthy sufficient.

With little recourse past sustained public outcry and the sluggish peristalsis of the impeachment course of, he would possibly.

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