Throughout his first new Late Present monologue of 2022, Stephen Colbert pivoted from joking about Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Twitter suspension to an extended chunk in regards to the upcoming anniversary of the Capitol insurrection with the segue, “Talking of insane folks attempting to destroy all the things.”
“In lieu of flowers, the rioters are asking for cash of their jail canteen accounts,” he added, earlier than turning his consideration to the Congressional committee investigating the assault.
Over the weekend, Rep. Liz Cheney (R-WY) revealed on ABC’s This Week that the committee has “firsthand testimony that his daughter Ivanka went in a minimum of twice to ask him to please cease this violence.”
“Didn’t work,” Colbert mentioned. “Everybody is aware of he doesn’t hearken to his youngsters. You’ve received to ship in his trusted navy adviser, Colonel Sanders.” As for that “firsthand” supply, he requested, “I’m wondering who had the braveness to come back ahead to make the previous first daughter look good?” He then shared a photograph of the “thriller witness”: Ivanka Trump with a mustache.
The previous president’s eldest daughter and her husband Jared Kushner have long been assumed to be the “sources close to” the couple that share flattering tales about themselves with pleasant reporters. They publicly “distanced themselves” from Donald Trump after his 2020 election loss and “urged him to take a more moderate stance” on Nazis years earlier.
Colbert went on to notice that Trump’s 187-minute silence throughout the January sixth riot—“an unheard-of phenomenon that Melania calls ‘my dream date’—has now been defined by the truth that he needed to reshoot a video telling the rioters to go residence as a result of he “wouldn’t say the precise factor.”
“OK, however what have been these folks anticipating?” the host requested. “Not saying the precise factor is his type of his factor. That’s like saying, ‘We’ve got to reshoot this Kool-Support industrial as a result of that big pitcher retains smashing by the brick wall.’”
For extra, pay attention and subscribe to The Last Laugh podcast.